Now that auditions are airing for season 7 of American Idol, it's made me look back at my audition experience for season 6. I'm sure things are still the same, so I thought I'd post it here:
So, back in the summer of 2006, my mother called me to tell me that American Idol would be auditioning in San Antonio, TX, and I needed to go. Now, I had heard this before - yeah, I can sing, but I'm not right for this show for MANY reasons. Here they are:
1) I do musical theatre, not pop.
2) I'm not really, really hot or really, really freaky.
3) I hate auditioning more than anything and my heart is rarely in it.
However, to appease my mom and to get her off my case, I said, "OK, I'll do it." I went through an array of emotions: What if I'm one of those people who are awful, but my friends tell me I'm great? What if I do or say something stupid that ends up on TV? What if I break down and beg as so many people seem to do? Then came the hopeful emotions: What if I actually make it? What if I'm one of those people who underplays my talent and is actually amazing? Then came the delusional emotions: I sound like Kelly Clarkson, so of course I'll make it.
My wonderful husband went through all of this with me. We agreed we wouldn't tell anyone except a select few b/c if it turned out to be a bust, I didn't want to have to make a million phone calls and say that I had failed. I talked with my friend Melinda to get some song ideas, got pep talks from my mom, and got pure support from Adam.
I made up an excuse at work and we drove to San Antonio on a Thursday. I printed out the consent form and read it in the car in between practicing "Never" by Heart and "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper. The consent form scared the crap out of me. It pretty much said that they own you no matter what. It even covered itself for any media outlets in the future. When you walked through those doors and dropped off that paper, you were screwed. So, I was really hesitant to sign on the off-chance that something did work out, but I thought, "Hell, if Scott Savol can do it, I can do it." I signed it, got my wristband, looked over the list of what we could bring, got my instructions and then headed to Kerrville to spend a free night at my grandmother's.
My grandmother was out of town, so Adam and I got there in the early afternoon, hung around the house, watched part of The Smartest Guys in the Room, and went to bed around 7 pm. We had to wake up at about 3 in the morning to get there on time. I showered, picked out my cute pink polo shirt and jeans to wear, put on some makeup in case the cameras were out that morning, and we headed out. We went to the store to pick up things for the cooler - water, chips, etc.
We pulled up to the Alamo Dome and there were LINES of cars. I mean, it looked like THOUSANDS. We parked closer than I thought we would, got out of the car, and walked around the Alamo Dome to the end of the line. There were already thousands of people and everyone was either looking for the camera, sleeping, singing to themselves or singing to the people around them. Adam and I sat against the wall and just waited. There was very little talking at 5 in the morning.
I believe around 8 they opened the doors to let people file in. We didn't get to the doors until about 8:45. The instruction form said that we were allowed to bring coolers inside, but when we got to the front, they said we weren't allowed and had to put ours with the HUGE pile by the front door. They were selling water and sodas and food inside for a ridiculous amount. Oh, I was so mad! So, we left our little purple cooler out there. Never saw it again...
We got inside, sat by the most annoying boys in the world and waited for our instructions. You know all those clips you see at the beginning like, "SIMON, YOU SUCK!" and then everyone cheers and they pull back and you see the thousands? Well, I had the pleasure of being involved in that. We had to scream "Simon, don't mess w/ Texas!" about 5 times. Oh, then we sang "Rawhide." No joke, people. They also threatened us, saying that if you don't sing, it is noticed because the producers are watching all the time. This put the fear of God in me - was I not safe anywhere in this competition?! At this point, I knew this was not going to work out.
So, in the middle of the stadium, they had about 12-14 tables lined up w/ a curtain between each one. At each table would be 2 producers. Now, you'd think these would be American Idol producers, but they're not. They are simply FOX producers. I could've been auditioning for the 24 producers and would've had no idea. We watched people go up - there was a man dressed as Batman, there was a woman with a huge sign of Simon, there were atrocious outfits and then there were a bunch of Texas belles that all looked alike. There were 2 doors from which you could exit the stadium - the one on the side was for the losers and the one in the back middle was for the people who would advance to the next round. We saw hundreds go through the side door and then finally, someone went through the middle. When that happened, the stadium cheered. Then people started going through the middle little by little and I thought, "Woo-hoo! There's actually a chance!"
The auditions started at 10 am and I didn't get to go on the floor until about 1 pm. Adam waited patiently the whole time and worked on Sudoku. I primped a little and got ready. Our section was about to go!
I went down the stairs with my consent form and threw it in the huge bucket with the others. They had us stand in a row of 4 people - these were the people we'd be with during the audition. We went through the line and they directed us to our table. We were about the 5th group of people at this table. All the people in front of us were going out the side door and the producers looked annoyed. Oh dear... Does not bode well. To top the dreading feeling I had, I didn't know which song I should sing. I asked the people around me and it was completely split - would it be Heart or Cyndi Lauper? I had a cool version of "Time After Time" and I was definitely more comfortable with that one, but "Never" showed a little more umph. I decided that whatever came out of my mouth would be the song. The people at the table next to us were sitting down because their producers decided to go to lunch and they'd have to wait until someone was there to replace them. So, needless to say, we had even more of an audience.
We were going to sing one at a time, left to right, and then they'd tell us who was going where. I got to the front and the 2 people on my right went. It was a guy and girl and they were exes. She was going there to support him, but decided to audition, too - "You never know," she said. The guy went and was frightening. My confidence started to rise. The girl went and was worse - my confidence skyrocketed. Then it was my turn. There was a moment of panic: "Wait, what song was I going to sing?!?! Oh God, I am going to blow this. The guy's looking at me and I don't know what to do! Oh, he's annoyed. He's definitely not going to put me through. Oh, he hates me. Everyone's watching! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And then I did it.
"Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me
I can't hear what you said
Then you say, "Go slow"
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
If you're lost you can look
And you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you
I'll be waiting
Time after time"
Thank you.
I stopped. They went to the next guy. He was pretty bad. I held my breath because I really had no idea. They whispered to each other and said, "Thanks for coming out, but we're not going to need you this season." That was it. WHAT?!
We went to get our wrist bands cut and I walked by the middle door where the winners were going. In my head, you know what was playing:
"So you had a bad day
You're taken one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day."
Oh, where's a boom box when you need it. I walked out, looked at Adam in the stands, and walked through the tunnel of shame.
Then we went home. And I think I slept for 2 days straight.
In the end, I found out that to get on American Idol, you need to be a freak or lucky. If your producer wants a bathroom break, well, it doesn't matter if you're Mariah Carey - you're not getting through.
